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The Bart (Boo Boo + Fart)
Warning!! Not for the weak stomach but Very Funny!!!
In the video I said I would share 3 moments, I just thought of another so I’ll share it also to make #4.
1.) Once upon a time I offered to give a friend who was having some weight problems a few weeks of personal training. Basically the plan was he’d show up three days a week after I was done training my last client (at around 9:30 PM) and we’d workout together.
Well, here’s how the first “session” went… what a mess…
I’ll call him ‘Bob’ to protect his identity.
Bob showed up for our first workout at 9:40 PM. The plan was to train the push muscles of the upper body. I did the first set of warm up dumbbell shoulder presses.
Then Bob did is warm up set.
Then I sat down on the bench to do my first working set…. all went well.
Then Bob sat down to perform his set. I thought all went well, though I did smell something odd. But hey, people fart all the time when lifting, right?
When I grabbed my dumbbells and went to sit on the bench for my second set I saw IT just a fraction of a second before sitting down.
Bob had barted himself.
Right there on the bench seat was a two inch streak of shiny fresh liquid poop.
I started to gag! But I got my composure together enough to ask “Bob” if he had barted.
He said no.
I pointed out the brown shiny streak on the bench he just got off of.
In an attempt to prove to me that the brown stuff was a permanent stain on the bench and was there all along he used his knee to wipe the bench (proving it was a stain and not poop).
THAT’S WHEN THE IT STREAKED ALL ACROSS THE BENCH…
“Bob took off to the locker room… and I made a B line to my car.
This workout was over!!
2.) While in North Carolina I helped train a football team. One guy was a defensive end who needed to lose a few pounds of fat to be more athletic. I drew up a plan which stated, “Eat 250 grams of protein every day – this is most important” He was a monster!
Well 2 weeks later he had gained some body fat. Frustrated I walked with him out to his car after a session… 250 grams Check, workouts Check. Where did I go wrong? I’m a bit puzzled but then, In the back of his car seat I see about 3 boxes of Ding Dongs. I ask “are you doing some sort of fund raising because I know those are not yours?”
He says. “Well yeah, those are mine. They have like 3 grams of protein each so I have to eat a bunch to get close to 250″
3.) I had a client who was warming up on the treadmill with a funny looking mouth and I asked if she was ok – No…she said I have to go to the dentist after you, I cracked my tooth last night
I’m sorry I said – how did you crack it? Was it a cap or something? No – I cracked it on a rib!
Can you imagine how hard I laughed when my very own client who was having problems losing weight and kept forgetting her food journal said this to me – too funny – it was so funny that I didn’t even make her do a bonus round. (some of you know what a bonus round is)
4.) Different client – we were stretching the hamstring on the floor…as I go into my final deep hamstring stretch she must have known a huge fart was coming so in an attempt to cover the very large fart coming, she slams her hand down on the floor pretending that the stretch was too much…I ignored it but was suffered permanent trauma on that one – no more stretching people – do it yourself! lol
Hopefully you were able to get a laugh out of this post. Life is filled with so much daily stress and it’s easy not to make room for laughter. So, hope you laughed and if you have a funny short story, please share.
Number 1 is my favorite, which is yours?
Laughter is medicine,
CC Matthews
Posted by admin | in Fat Loss Strategies, Fitness Advice, Mind/Motivation, Nutrition Tips & Strategies, Uncategorized, Workouts | 8 Comments
CC
I have to say that No. 1 is my favorite also.
Sometimes I wonder if you are going to work it out of us like that….LOL
Malinda said that you were sweet, I don’t know where she fets that from.
GROSS!!! I would have DIED at Number 1!!!!
All I can say is, Oh my Gah!
Imagine what would have come out if it were leg day!
CC, #1 & #2 are by far the funniest, but why add the photo…..lol #3 is funny cuz you were on the end where most of us therapist find ourselves. Elderly ppl do not cover it up, they pass gas and burp continually and do not apologize or get embarrassed.
I have so many funny stories, but here are 3:
1. I had a pt that wore dentures and she could not decide if she wanted them in her mouth or out During therapy she would push them in and out of her mouth, it is sound like someone popping gum. She also has this yapping rat that barked the entire time I worked w/ her. One day I had enough of her playing with her teeth and the constant yapping of that annoying rat dog. So I yelled to the dog to shut up and it startled her so much her teeth flew out of her mouth. We laughed about it and the rat dog shut up.
2. Came in to treat one of my patient and she informed me that she fell again. The funny thing is, she fell while she was leaning over on the toilet trying to give herself an enema. She described to me that she fell over on her knees, bottom in air. And I had to report this to her MD by fax.
3. Therapist, in out-patient settings like to sit on exercise balls while working with patients. One day I was a little too hyper while working with a patient, and begin bouncing on my ball. Something happened that cause me to laugh so hard at my patient that while I was in mid bounced another patient, who always called me Hammy (the hyper squirrel on Over the Hedge), kicked the ball right out from under me and I hit the floor landing flat on my back. We all had a good laugh on that one.
BTW, did u ever work with “Bob” after the IT training day? I read this to my office, they were all on the floor at #1
I liked #1 the best. Well like Shrek says:”Better out than in”.Just be glad you saw it and did not sit in it.
1. Well i will share 1 story about a client of mine. I am also a personal trainer and i train this particular well endowed female, who hates running on the treadmill. Little did i know why…she holds both breast in her hand while running!!! Even the best sports bra wont hold those boobs down. It is so funny that i have to walk off for a moment to gain my composure.
2. My last story i will share is about a client who is germaphobic. This client will sanitize her hands between each set and she will not lie on the mat.Everything we do has to be on the ball because she does not want her head on the mat, even with a towel spread over it. She will not drink bottled water because she will have to touch the cap of the bottle which will have germs and the bottle will have germs so she would rather not. She ends the session with a quick run to the bathroom to wash and again sanitize her hands and rushes off toward the door with a napkin in hand to reach for the door. I wonder did she consider how many germs got on that napkin in the air from the bathroom to the front door. Oh well, i will see her back in the gym tomorrow for another session of a germ free workout!!!
the first story is hilarious!lolololol…..
Number 1 was my favorite. I laughed hard on that one! The way you work us, I hope that never happens to me!!! LOL!