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The Bart (Boo Boo + Fart)
Warning!! Not for the weak stomach but Very Funny!!!
In the video I said I would share 3 moments, I just thought of another so I’ll share it also to make #4.
1.) Once upon a time I offered to give a friend who was having some weight problems a few weeks of personal training. Basically the plan was he’d show up three days a week after I was done training my last client (at around 9:30 PM) and we’d workout together.
Well, here’s how the first “session” went… what a mess…
I’ll call him ‘Bob’ to protect his identity.
Bob showed up for our first workout at 9:40 PM. The plan was to train the push muscles of the upper body. I did the first set of warm up dumbbell shoulder presses.
Then Bob did is warm up set.
Then I sat down on the bench to do my first working set…. all went well.
Then Bob sat down to perform his set. I thought all went well, though I did smell something odd. But hey, people fart all the time when lifting, right?
When I grabbed my dumbbells and went to sit on the bench for my second set I saw IT just a fraction of a second before sitting down.
Bob had barted himself.
Right there on the bench seat was a two inch streak of shiny fresh liquid poop.
I started to gag! But I got my composure together enough to ask “Bob” if he had barted.
He said no.
I pointed out the brown shiny streak on the bench he just got off of.
In an attempt to prove to me that the brown stuff was a permanent stain on the bench and was there all along he used his knee to wipe the bench (proving it was a stain and not poop).
THAT’S WHEN THE IT STREAKED ALL ACROSS THE BENCH…
“Bob took off to the locker room… and I made a B line to my car.
This workout was over!!
2.) While in North Carolina I helped train a football team. One guy was a defensive end who needed to lose a few pounds of fat to be more athletic. I drew up a plan which stated, “Eat 250 grams of protein every day – this is most important” He was a monster!
Well 2 weeks later he had gained some body fat. Frustrated I walked with him out to his car after a session… 250 grams Check, workouts Check. Where did I go wrong? I’m a bit puzzled but then, In the back of his car seat I see about 3 boxes of Ding Dongs. I ask “are you doing some sort of fund raising because I know those are not yours?”
He says. “Well yeah, those are mine. They have like 3 grams of protein each so I have to eat a bunch to get close to 250″
3.) I had a client who was warming up on the treadmill with a funny looking mouth and I asked if she was ok – No…she said I have to go to the dentist after you, I cracked my tooth last night
I’m sorry I said – how did you crack it? Was it a cap or something? No – I cracked it on a rib!
Can you imagine how hard I laughed when my very own client who was having problems losing weight and kept forgetting her food journal said this to me – too funny – it was so funny that I didn’t even make her do a bonus round. (some of you know what a bonus round is)
4.) Different client – we were stretching the hamstring on the floor…as I go into my final deep hamstring stretch she must have known a huge fart was coming so in an attempt to cover the very large fart coming, she slams her hand down on the floor pretending that the stretch was too much…I ignored it but was suffered permanent trauma on that one – no more stretching people – do it yourself! lol
Hopefully you were able to get a laugh out of this post. Life is filled with so much daily stress and it’s easy not to make room for laughter. So, hope you laughed and if you have a funny short story, please share.
Number 1 is my favorite, which is yours?
Laughter is medicine,
CC Matthews
Posted by admin | in Fat Loss Strategies, Fitness Advice, Mind/Motivation, Nutrition Tips & Strategies, Uncategorized, Workouts | 8 Comments
